It's weird to think about where I was just a few short months ago.
I never once considered myself a sorority girl - in fact, I explicitly told myself before I ever graduated high school, that I would never join a sorority. I made the same comment before I moved to Fayetteville. Nothing against any of the sororities - I just didn't want to commit the time and pressure that are involved. I’d done so much at my community college. I was exhausted and wanted time to enjoy being at school.
I feel like I've mentioned before, the expectations that I had coming to Fayetteville. I assumed that by the time Christmas break rolled around - I'd have friends, we'd hang out all the time, study, do all these fun things, and I’d be having the time of my life. After spending two years at home, I was ready to experience what I'd seen and heard about from friends who'd gone off to various schools after high school.
It's funny to think about what I expected. God has shown time, and time again, that everything I always expect to happen is not going to happen the way I imagined. Though, last semester I was irritated with Him. I found myself saying, "God, you paved the way for me to get here effortlessly. But now that I'm here, nothing is going right." There were points when I thought that coming to Fayetteville was a mistake. I'd been given the opportunity to go just about anywhere in Arkansas, and I'd chosen wrong.
Before coming here, a friend from high school had told me about a Christian sorority. At the time, I wasn't interested.
The school year started. Things being chalked on sidewalks, I learned quickly, was a common occurrence. I noticed several different locations, where recruitment for Sigma Phi Lambda was chalked. However, I was a few days late in noticing it. I felt a tug on my heart, but I ignored it. I'd missed the dates and that was it. Besides, I wasn’t joining a sorority, remember?
Fall semester came and went, and I realized I had very little to show for it.
I realized I'd prevented myself from joining, or doing, much that semester, which obviously hurt my chances of meeting new people. So, over Christmas break, Sigma Phi Lambda popped into my mind. I did some research. I looked up Sigma Phi Lambda’s National page and the UA chapter. I felt the tug again.
I started praying about it then. I also thought about it a lot. Was this something I really wanted to commit to? Was it what God wanted me to do? I came back for the current semester and was given my biggest load yet; 15 hours of upper level classes and 20 hours a week at work. It almost seemed like joining a sorority was not the right choice, however, I still felt a tug in my heart.
So, when recruitment came around, I told myself I'd go to one or two events and just see. I went to Open Chapter and the Movie Night. I remember who I spoke to those nights. I remember thinking that feeling so welcomed and included shouldn’t feel odd to me. I left movie night, which was the second event of the week, knowing I’d be at induction on Friday night.
If I was being completely honest, someone once said that they were surprised that I'd made it all way to initiation. I'd say I'd have to agree with them. There were times I considered dropping, but I chalked those up to Satan just trying to mess with me. You see, when God wants you to do something, or be somewhere, Satan will try his hardest to convince you it’s not right.
In the short semester that I’ve been involved, I’ve seen just why Satan tried to stop me. Phi Lamb is full of the most genuine, kind-hearted, Jesus-loving girls that I’ve ever met. It was refreshing to see that I’m not alone in whatever I might be going through. There is always someone there to listen, encourage, and love on you.
As an active, now, I still have moments where I get those, "Is this the right choice? Or I don’t belong here" ’feelings. But if you ask any active, they’ll tell you they felt the same way. Phi Lamb is where I belong, and it’s been the best decision of my life.